Your Nervous System’s Quiet Little Hack
Sometimes, when we are triggered, no amount of logic, reassurance, or positive thinking seems to work.
That is not because we are failing.
It is because the nervous system has taken the lead.
One simple and surprisingly effective way to support regulation is by working with how the nervous system already learns. This is where Pavlov’s conditioning comes in.
What Pavlov’s dogs can teach us about our own nervous system
Ivan Pavlov, a physiologist, discovered that the nervous system learns through association.
In his experiments, food naturally caused a dog to salivate. A bell, on its own, meant nothing. But when the bell was rung repeatedly right before the food appeared, something interesting happened. Eventually, the bell alone caused salivation.
The dog did not think about it or decide to salivate. The body learned the association automatically.
This process is called classical conditioning, and it does not just apply to dogs or reflexes. It applies to human nervous systems too. Over time, our bodies form associations between certain cues and certain states, including stress, safety, calm, and ease.
Using association to support regulation
Just as the nervous system can learn to feel tension or fear, it can also learn to feel calm.
When you are in a moment where you genuinely feel settled, present, or safe, your body is already in a regulated state. If you gently pair that state with a small physical gesture, the nervous system can begin to link the two.
The gesture might be twisting your index and middle finger together, resting your thumb and index finger in an OK sign, or forming a simple mudra.
At first, it is just a movement. But when it is repeated during calm moments, the body starts to recognise it as familiar and regulating.
Over time, that gesture can become a quiet cue that helps the system remember how to soften and settle. This is not about forcing calm or bypassing what you feel. It is about offering the body something it already knows.
Why this can be helpful when you are activated
When you are triggered, your nervous system shifts into protection mode. Thinking clearly becomes harder, and words often feel far away. A physical cue works on a different level.
Rather than trying to convince the mind, you are meeting the body directly. The gesture serves as a gentle reminder of safety, helping reduce the intensity of the activation and how long it lasts.
More importantly, it does not stop emotions or make them disappear. It simply supports the body in returning closer to its baseline, where emotions can move through with more space and clarity.
A few important notes
This practice works best when it is built slowly and kindly.
It is crucial that the gesture is practised only when you feel genuinely calm or grounded. Using it too early during strong activation can blur the association.
Repetition matters more than effort. Small, consistent moments of practice are enough.
And while this can be a helpful regulatory tool, it is not a replacement for deeper therapeutic or trauma-processing work when needed.
A gentler way of seeing it
Rather than asking your body to calm down, this practice teaches it a familiar pathway back to safety.
You are not controlling your nervous system.
You are training it through experience.
Over time, that small gesture becomes a quiet reminder that the body understands. We have been here before. We know how to return.
A simple practice you can try
Choose a small, easy hand gesture that feels natural to you.
Only practise it during moments when you genuinely feel calm, safe, or settled. This could be after a session, during meditation, or in a quiet moment in your day.
Gently hold the gesture for a short while as you notice your breath, your body, and the sense of ease that is already present.
Repeat this across many calm moments, without rushing or forcing it.
Over time, when you notice yourself becoming activated, you can gently use the same gesture to invite your body to return to baseline.
This is your own little secret hack. A small gesture, paired with calm moments, becomes a quiet shortcut your nervous system learns to trust. Use it gently, without pressure, and watch how it helps you return to baseline more easily.
