how being unsafe to ourselves affects our nervous system, physiology & healing

When we are unsafe to ourselves, it doesn’t just stay in our minds, but it deeply impacts our nervous system, physiology, and capacity to heal. Being in a constant state of self-judgment, suppression, or inner rejection doesn’t just affect how we feel emotionally—it shapes the entire landscape of our physiology.

Your nervous system is always listening, not just to what’s happening around you, but to the way you speak to and treat yourself.

Let’s break down how this works:

1. Chronic Inner Conflict = Chronic Stress Response

When your inner world is filled with harshness, pressure, or shame, your body interprets it as a threat even if the threat is “just” internal. This can activate the sympathetic nervous system (fight or flight), leading to:

• Racing heart

• Shallow breathing

• Muscle tension

• Digestive disruption

• Sleep disturbances

• Heightened startle responses

You may find it hard to relax, feel grounded, or “be in your body” because your system is constantly bracing for an attack, even if it’s coming from within.

2. Self-abandonment can trigger a freeze or collapse state

When we consistently override our needs, silence our intuition, or shame ourselves for feeling too much, the body may enter a dorsal vagal state (shutdown/collapse):

• Numbness or disconnection

• Low energy or fatigue

• Brain fog

• Feelings of “what’s the point”

• Emotional flatness

• Difficulty initiating action or making decisions

This is the body’s way of coping when it feels helpless or chronically unsafe. Healing becomes harder because your system is conserving energy and protecting itself from perceived overwhelm.

3. Inner criticism suppresses self-repair mechanisms

The body heals best in a state of ventral vagal regulation—aka when it feels safe, supported, and connected. In this state, the parasympathetic nervous system supports:

• Immune function

• Restorative sleep

• Digestion and nutrient absorption

• Cellular repair and detoxification

• Hormonal balance

But if your inner world is full of pressure and self-attack, your body may deprioritize these functions in favor of survival. In other words: when we don’t feel safe inside, the body puts healing on hold.

4. Being unsafe to ourselves increases inflammation + dysregulation

Research shows that chronic stress and self-criticism can elevate cortisol, adrenaline, and inflammatory cytokines in the body. This creates a state of low-grade chronic inflammation, which has been linked to:

• Mood disorders (anxiety, depression)

• Autoimmune flare-ups

• Gut issues

• Hormonal imbalances

• Chronic fatigue and pain

When we are constantly self-rejecting, our bodies absorb that tension. Our fascia tightens. Our breath shortens. Our organs constrict. We literally become less spacious for healing to unfold.

5. Unsafe inner environments perpetuate emotional looping

When the body doesn't feel safe with you, it may struggle to complete emotional cycles. Grief stays stuck. Anger turns inward. Joy feels fleeting. You may intellectually understand what’s happening, but still feel trapped in the same emotional spirals.

Why? Because completion requires emotional permission and inner resourcing, not just tools or mindset shifts. If you don’t feel like a safe enough person to hold your own experience, your system won’t let go. It will grip instead of release.

So what’s the medicine?

Becoming a safe person to yourself isn’t just a nice idea—it’s a physiological intervention.

The more you meet yourself with gentleness, the more your nervous system relaxes. The more consistently you validate your inner experience, the more your body softens its defenses. The more you stop abandoning yourself, the more your system learns:

“Ah. It’s safe to be here now. We’re not at war with ourselves anymore.”

And that is when true healing begins.

How Spinal Energetics Supports Somatic Healing:

When we’re in a constant state of inner stress, our spine often mirrors that tension through:

• Compression and rigidity

• Postural holding patterns

• Disrupted energetic flow

Spinal Energetics helps you shift out of chronic fight, flight, or freeze by working directly with your spine, breath, energy field, and subtle body systems. Here are some ways it helps:

• Restores coherence to the nervous system so your body feels safe enough to prioritize rest, digestion, detoxification, and repair.

• Releases emotional tension stored in tissues, joints, and fascia, allowing for freer movement and expression.

• Supports energetic integration, helping you digest what’s been “too much, too fast, too soon” without re-traumatizing the system.

The breath, movement, and energy that unfold aren’t random—they are your body’s natural way of saying, “I’m ready to come out of survival now.”

This is somatic safety, not as a concept, but as a direct experience.
And from that place, healing becomes not just possible, but inevitable.

If your system feels stuck in stress or shutdown, this work can help create the space your body needs to finally exhale.

Want to learn more? Head over to:
https://www.soulshine.sg/blog/how-did-we-become-our-biggest-bully
https://www.soulshine.sg/blog/how-being-unsafe-to-ourselves-affects-our-nervous-system-physiology-amp-healing